Why i need a Service Dog, in particular Bones. im in overdrive, on my way to shutting down again, on the inside anyway. To the outsider it seems like im not doing much or being very active and physically im not. i dont even know if ill have the energy to walk Bones today to be honest and that bothers me but let me explain it all out.
When things start acting up on me and my mind reaches a point where its not really functioning i cant take any kind of stimulation, i cant handle talking to the neighbors we would run into, hearing voices will only make it worse, especially if im walking by a house and i hear someone yell, even if its a child. If that happens ill only be able to do one thing and thats completely lock up, figure out the shortest distance home and get there asap. And when i lock up its not exactly an anxiety or panic attack as i at that point im beyond those. Others around me really dont understand, know or see just how bad it is anymore because ive became good at putting on a show. And this show takes soo much energy to keep going, and coupled with my fibro/lupus and the whole spoon theory im at this point borrowing spoons from the next few days at least to even keep functioning. i know without a doubt that if i was completely honest with myself and those around me that id end up in a hospital to get this all straightened out but i haqve been keeping it from coming to that due to my fear of them not allowing Bones to be there with me. He is the only thing that keeps me going at all
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